Wednesday, May 13, 2009

6 Reasons to Go See the New Star Trek Movie, and One Thing That is Bugging Me

1) His new understanding of the space-time continuum allows JJ Abrams to recreate the entire timeline without screwing up the original

2) Captain Kirk has sex with a green girl

3) They kill a Redshirt.

4) These guys:

are way hotter than these guys:

5) The knitwear:

I want to make Scotty's hat. More importantly, I believe that Spock is wearing a Snuggie Monster. I have invented the sweater of tomorrow. The future is now!!!

6) It was AWESOME.


The One Thing That Bugs Me:

When Kirk meets Scotty, Scotty tells a story about how he transported Admiral Archer’s favorite pet beagle and it was never seen again. It seems safe to assume that the Archer in question is, in fact, the beagle-owning Captain Archer of the Enterprise series. HOWEVER, Enteprise is supposed to take place 150 years before the original Star Trek series, i.e., 150 years before the events of this film take place. Which would make Admiral Archer about 200 years old. Even given the possibility of increased human life spans or any possible argument about relativistic time lags between faster-than-light and sub-light travel (which would be moot because Enterprise always had warp drives), 200 years seems unlikely. Thank you. And now back to your regularly scheduled awesomeness.

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